~rare photo ~

Words by Ash Kissane

1. Brandy and Monica – The Boy Is Mine

These gal pals taught me that although the game of love is a tricky one, no romance should ever come between two BFFs – especially if the dick ain’t shit, so to speak.

2. Blu Cantrell – Hit ‘Em Up Style

Blu taught me that revenge really is a dish best served cold. And sweet. Revenge is sweet. As a child I found Blu Cantrell a confusing mixture of inspiring and intimidating and the most important lesson I learned from this song was that it is definitely a mistake to get buck wild on Blu Cantrell’s watch.

3. TLC – No Scrubs

Not that anyone was leaning out the side of their best friend’s ride trying to holla at me when I was 7, but No Scrubs taught me that it was cool to say “no” to guys with “weak game” and not give a fuck. And as Lisa “Left Eye” was one of my favourite people in the world as a child, her word was absolute law.

4. Mya – Free

Mya sings, “Cant stand a man who thinks he looks better than me” and she was onto something. From Free I learned that you should always be with someone less attractive and secure than you, so they will thank their lucky stars everyday to be graced with your partnership. This seems like an important strategy in the world created by RnB, in which nearly everyone ever is a big old cheater cheater pumpkin eater.

5. Aaliyah – Try Again

“If at first you don’t succeed; dust yourself off and try again.” Simple and effective, I’m sure Aaliyah’s shining words of wisdom would have helped me through many a failed go on the monkey bars.

6. Christina Milian – When You Look at Me

The old saying, “Never judge a book by it’s cover” is a classic.  Christina says she “could be a wolf in disguise” and that she could also be “a crook or your lover”, which raises some pretty heavy questions. Do we ever really know another person? Do we even know ourselves? Don’t talk to strangers.

7. Destiny’s Child – Survivor

Destiny’s Child just out here somewhere in the South Pacific being inspiring role models. I believe many of the answers to life’s big questions can be answered somewhere in a Destiny’s Child song.

8. Nelly – Dilemma ft. Kelly Rowland

Dilemma confirmed for me that RnB is really not about monogamy. Also, you can text on an excel spreadsheet on a beeper (3:16). What a time to be alive.

9. Sisqo – Thong Song

Bleach is powerful and should be respected. Thongs are gross.

10. Destiny’s Child – Bootylicious

Beyonce can wear a fedora, pink eye shadow, and a gold tooth and still be 100% glamorous. Destiny’s Child is surely comprised of goddesses who walk the Earth for the sole purpose of improving the lives of all mankind.

Published – Moustache Magazine